The Ways of Magic
by Dani-Ellie03
Summary: As of right this very moment, Emma Swan had an entire apartment to clean and just her own two hands with which to clean it. She'd just dropped to her hands in knees in front of the bathtub to start scouring when she muttered, "Whoa, wait a second." She had freakin' magic, didn't she? Who said she had to do this the hard way? (or, wacky magical hijinks with Captain Swan and Co.)
**Title:** The Ways of Magic
 **Summary:** As of right this very moment, Emma Swan had an entire apartment to clean and just her own two hands with which to clean it. She'd just dropped to her hands in knees in front of the bathtub to start scouring when she muttered, "Whoa, wait a second." She had freakin' magic, didn't she? Who said she had to do this the hard way?  
 **Spoilers:** Up through 4x11, "Heroes and Villains."  
 **Characters:** Emma Swan, Killian Jones, Snow White, Prince Charming, Regina Mills, and Henry Mills.  
 **Rating/Warning:** T, for some suggestiveness. This is sheer ridiculousness.  
 **Disclaimer:** _Once Upon a Time_ and its characters were created by Eddie Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and are owned by ABC. I'm just playing with someone else's toys but I'll put them back when I'm done.  
 **Author's Note:** Originally a flashfic on Tumblr for the following anonymous prompt: "Emma attempting to clean the loft with magic, Sorcerer's Apprentice style via enchanted brooms/mops and other household cleaning objects. Of course everything goes haywire and they need to call in Gold or Regina. " I adored the prompt when it came in and the flashfic that result was ridiculously fun so I decided to rework it into a one-shot to help offset the sheer angst and torture that is surely coming tonight in 5x15. Title snagged from Fleetwood Mac's "You Make Loving Fun" for reasons which will become clear. Feedback would thrill me to pieces! Enjoy. :)

* * *

"I somehow don't find it fair," Emma Swan muttered into the emptiness of the apartment, her hands on her hips as she surveyed the scene in front of her, "that this is Mom's everyone-helps-no-exceptions spring cleaning day and I'm the only one here."

Snow White had officially declared today as the day everyone was to help clean the apartment from top to bottom. No stone was to be left unturned. On the agenda was Windexing every window and dusting every knickknack. The floors needed to be swept and mopped, the bathtub needed to be scoured (with bleach!), and the sinks and appliances were to be polished until they gleamed. Oh, and there was an apartment full of laundry to do, too.

And here Emma stood, all by her onesie.

She supposed it couldn't be helped. Her poor baby brother had awoken this morning congested and coughing, his little cheeks pink with fever. As every new parent was wont to do, both Snow and David had panicked. They'd ignored Emma's insistence that the poor little squirt simply had a cold (as she knew they would because worried parents of a sick child tended to go from zero to crisis in about four seconds flat) and had rushed him down to the emergency department at Storybrooke General. They were still there now, waiting for Dr. Whale to take a look at him and diagnose his simple rhinovirus.

They'd barely been out the door five minutes when Regina had called and offered to take Henry down to the stables for the day. The kid had looked so excited at the prospect of spending the day riding and hanging out with his other mom that Emma hadn't had the heart to tell him no. Besides, what kid in his right mind would want to spend a day cleaning if he had the opportunity to go have fun instead?

And so their cleaning party of four (five, actually, once Killian was added in) had dwindled to a cleaning party of one. Snow and David would help when they got back and got the squirt settled, of course, and Killian was due to arrive any minute now. He'd stopped off at the store at Emma's request to pick up some cleaning supplies they hadn't had on hand.

But still, as of right this very moment, Emma Swan had an entire apartment to clean and just her own two hands with which to clean it.

She'd just dropped to her hands and knees in front of the bathtub to start scouring when she muttered, "Whoa, wait a second."

She had freakin' magic, didn't she? Who said she had to do this the hard way?

A sly grin tugged at the corners of her mouth as she set the bleach-soaked sponge in the bathtub. _All right_ , she thought as she closed her eyes and started concentrating her magic, _let's see if this sucker will scrub away the soap scum stains by itself._

The magic flitted in her stomach like little butterflies, generating a warmth that spread throughout her entire body. The warmth relaxed her and encouraged her and focused her thoughts, making her feel like her magic could do anything, even something as silly as making the sponge scour the tub for her.

When the warmth was at just the right temperature, Emma opened her eyes. Sure enough, the sponge was moving up and down along the side of the tub of its own accord, doing the dirty work for her.

Emma grinned. Okay, this? Was going to be _fun_.

Within minutes, she had the broom sweeping the hardwood floors on its own, a couple of feather dusters running themselves over all of Snow's knickknacks, and a second sponge wiping down the kitchen counter. The laundry was sorting itself into washable loads and the kitchen sink was filling with sudsy water in which to soak the breakfast dishes.

All Emma had to do was play air traffic controller and redirect the cleaning objects to a new task once they completed their current one.

Killian pushed the apartment door open just as the mop wrung itself out in the dirty water bucket, plunked itself back into the soapy water bucket, and set to work on the next area of the bathroom tile. "Bloody hell," he muttered, startled, his eyes wide with shock as he gaped at the scene in front of him.

Then he spied the sparkle in Emma's eyes – the warm rush of her magic always left her a bit giddy – and shot her a smirk. "Having fun, are we, love?"

"We are," she affirmed. So very much fun. She might have to clean like this for the rest of her life!

And all of a sudden, something about her pirate standing there with that lopsided grin of his on his lips set her heart racing and made her a little weak in the knees. She dashed over to him, clutched his lapel, and pulled him towards the couch. "And we're also alone."

Killian grinned, setting the bag of his purchases down on the kitchen table as they passed. And Emma she pulled him into a hot and heavy kiss, all memory of magically moving cleaning supplies fled both their minds. All that mattered was each other.

* * *

Snow White ascended the stairs to her apartment slowly and silently to avoid disturbing her sick little prince, who'd finally dropped off to sleep in his car seat. She and Charming had spent a couple long hours in the emergency room with him only to be told that their baby boy had his first cold.

Thank the heavens it was nothing more serious than that but now both she and Charming both felt a little foolish for rushing him down to the hospital for a case of the sniffles. As a matter of fact, Snow could already see the smug smile that was sure to cross Emma's face for at least a split second upon hearing the diagnosis.

It went without saying, of course, that Emma would also be relieved to hear that her baby brother simply had a case of the sniffles but yes, her daughter wouldn't be able to resist at least a silent I told you so.

Snow finally reached the top step and let out a breath of relief. She'd managed the two flights without jostling her son awake, which she considered a victory. As she approached the door to the apartment, however, she heard rather panicked voices coming from the other side.

"Why won't they stop?" That was Hook.

"I don't know!" And that was Emma.

"Charming," Snow murmured, glancing over her shoulder. Her husband suddenly stood at attention, alerted by the urgency in her tone. "Something's wrong."

Charming dashed past her and had the door open in an instant. Neither one of them was prepared for what they saw.

Snow's broom and mop skidded around the floor by themselves, darting this way and that and bypassing each other like two little kids sliding in stocking feet on a freshly waxed floor. Three sponges scrubbed at nothing but air, leaving trails of soapy water on the floor below them as they flew around the room. The feather dusters zoomed from shelf to shelf across the room at top speed. A frantic Hook and Emma had to duck to avoid being smacked in the face with a wet pair of Emma's pajama pants that were clearly supposed be going in the dryer.

Of all the things Snow had expected to walk in on, an Invisible Man's Spring Cleaning Day gone wrong was nowhere on the list.

Charming recovered his voice first. "Emma, what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know," she cried, her tone both frenzied and helpless. "I can't make them stop!"

"I take it that means you made them go to begin with," Charming deadpanned before swallowing a snicker.

"It's not funny!" Emma huffed. Then she ducked to avoid a dive-bombing feather duster.

Snow had to swallow a chuckle of her own. _Sorry, baby_ , she thought as she set Neal's car seat down facing away from the pandemonium that had overtaken her living room and pulled out her cell phone, _but this actually is kind of funny_.

Without wasting another second, she sent Regina a text that simply said, "SOS."

Less than a minute later (though it was still enough time for the mop and the broom to collide, clatter to the ground, and get right back up and continue their dance through the apartment), Regina and Henry appeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

"What's so–" Regina asked only to stop short when she realized exactly why she'd been summoned. "Oh. I see."

Henry took one look at the chaos and started giggling. The poor boy at least tried to muffle his chuckles behind his hand but when Emma shot him a weary glare, he couldn't help laughing in earnest.

Regina let the chaos reign another moment before heaving a sigh and waving her hand. Broom, mop, sponges, feather dusters, and laundry all fell to the floor, utterly motionless.

Emma and Hook let out breaths of relief. Snow, Charming, and Henry all stifled chuckles.

As for Regina, she was surveying the now calm scene. "Dare I ask how this happened?" she asked, glancing up at Emma. Her gaze flicked to Hook and then back to Emma before sudden realization lit her eyes.

Snow understood a second later. Emma's mussed hair, Hook's breathlessness, the flush of both their cheeks … all signs Snow had mistakenly attributed to their panic over magically moving cleaning supplies with minds of their own. _Oh, Emma_ , she thought, working hard to swallow her burbling amusement.

Regina quirked an eyebrow at Emma, a smirk tugging at her lips. "I applaud your initiative, Emma, but perhaps next time you should end your enchantments before moving on to, er …" She glanced at Henry. "Other activities. Magic is emotion, after all, which means it can be … excitable."

Emma's cheeks burned a bright shade of red, and poor Hook looked like he wished he could melt into the floor.

Snow bit her bottom lip to further hide her amused smile while Henry wrinkled his nose at the implication of his mother's words. Charming just stared open-mouthed at his baby girl and her pirate for a moment before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't even want to know," he muttered, shaking his head.


End file.
